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So here we are. I had a funeral yesterday. A friendship funeral. I gotta tell you guys: it was a fucking hard one.

The friendship I had to say goodbye to was 6 years old. So we can say I lost a baby. You know, I loved my baby. Like all other mothers, I used to think she'd grow up and I'll be with her in sad and joy. But this is life you guys. You gotta accept it. It's jelous I think: can't see you happy, with the things and the people who make you happy. So it ruin them all.

Yeah you know, I'm a human. So I got mad and sad at the first step. I wanted to shout, I wanted to cry. Then I wanted to ditch all other friendships to not to be hurt more and more later on. But I suddenly found out that it doesn't matter. I used to think that all things I adore will stay for me. For ever. But they won't as we all know. Not your friend, not your lover and not your mother. They'll all be gone one day and leave you alone.

So what? It means you shouldn't fall in love just because you'd get hurt someday? You shouldn't make friends, just because they might split up one day? Of course not.

I had this great, wonderfull friendship. We dreamed, we laughed, we cried, we went out, we read, we sang together and made the best moments at those ages. We were great together. It's getting dramatic but we were.

But now? It's over. I mean it seems like it was over months ago but I lost my hope recently.

So I'll be alone at the age of 17. I mean all those plans for 18 are gone and I have to go by myself from now on.

I mean, I have other nice people around me. I mean really nice and kind ones. But you know, I don't think I'd find such a great person, such a great relation, to be with.

So yeah baby, thank you for all these years. Thank you for being there for me the times I needed someone. As I hate you so much for doing this, I love you even more for you. I mean the real you. The bastard lovely you. Thank you and goodbye. I don't hope, but I'm sure you'll shine in life's sky, just like you did your whole life.